Short Summary: The Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy follows wealthy businessman Christian Grey as he meets Anastasia Steele, a virginal college student, and woos her into his BDSM world and “red room of pain.” The main character is a childlike, mousey, young woman, lacking confidence, who becomes the target of a powerful, intimidating, older man who puts her under contract to serve as a sexual “submissive.”

• The story makes violence sexy. Many individuals are experimenting with these acts and relationships without understanding the dangers and consequences.

• The story glamorizes and legitimizes both sexual and domestic violence. Now, with the overwhelming popularity of the book, mainstream opinion makers, the media, and celebrities are legitimizing this violence too. The reality is that in real life, women in these situations don’t end up like Anastasia — they often end up in a woman’s shelter, on the run for years, or dead.

• Other themes that are romanticized in the book include: coercion, humiliation, degradation, stalking, isolation, manipulation, physical torture, intimidation, possessiveness, jealousy, emotional and physical abuse.

• The popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey among women sends a message to men that this is what women really want. Many men are already consuming material (hardcore pornography) that sexualizes violence and leads to permission-giving beliefs such as all women like violence, “no” really means “yes,” and rape is permissible. The popularity of this book only feeds into these lies and further promotes rape culture.

• The mainstreaming of this book also sends the message to women that they can “fix” violent, controlling men by being obedient and loving.

• Our pornified culture is already affected by violent acts in mainstream porn and now, with the help of Fifty Shades of Grey, this violence is being further legitimized and broadly accepted by women. Now men don’t have to entice women to engage in the violent acts that they regularly consume through pornography because Fifty Shades of Grey is doing it for them.

• Domestic violence is viewed differently today than it once was. Under state laws, no one is deemed to consent to partner abuse and violence. After learning about the psychological damage the victim undergoes, society and the laws changed to reflect that consent did not make this abuse ok. It’s a very similar situation with sexual violence and one can easily argue that at least the relationship depicted in Fifty Shades of Grey follows the pattern of domestic abuse.

• Consent is not a black and white issue, but rather spans a broad continuum. One’s ability or freedom to consent is often compromised by trauma, abuse, miseducation, lack of knowledge

• Consent does not remove the psychological and physical damage created by this mistreatment and abuse.

• Even among “consenting” participants, many are often coerced to continue against their will and comfort level due to the pressure to appear “into it,” to avoid alienating their intimate partner, or for other reasons.

• Violence is violence. Sexual violence is worse.

• Not every decision one makes is a good one.

• The issue of consent is not the only problem with these relationships. If you take this argument away, there are still many other problems, including the long-term psychological and physical effects, the impact on the existing relationship, development of violent permission-giving beliefs, the impact to society when violence is sexualized, and more.

• The acts practiced in Fifty Shades of Grey, in “kink” pornography, and in BDSM (Bondage, Domination, Sadism & Masochism) relationships often violate U.S. and United Nations laws on torture. Consent is not an excuse according to these laws.

There is a media firestorm promoting this story and promoting it as harmless fun. These public opinion makers are often encouraging women to engage in this activity as a healthy form of intimacy in relationships. (Oprah, Dr. Phil, The View, The Today Show, & Cosmopolitan Magazine are just a few examples of opinion makers encouraging women to try this behavior.)

Of course people have the right to read and watch what they want to watch. However, most individuals are not educated on these issues and are buying the lies pushed in the story and by the sensationalized media.

• We are not telling you what you can and cannot do. We are working to educate people on the facts so that they can make more informed decisions.

• However, simply because you participate in these sex acts in private, does not make them harmless. These acts are a simulation, at best, of abuse and violence that objectifies and exploits those involved.

• Making violence “sexy” has significant consequences to individuals, relationships, and society. Here is what some of the research says about sexually violent material and the impact to real life.

• Just like with other forms of pornography, the user often experiences a short term “high” personally and often in intimate relationships. There may be increased sexual activity right away, but the long-term impact is negative. Pornography, which this book is, desensitizes the user and disrupts the normal bonding that takes place between two human beings. The relationship may look good for a snapshot in time, but when you look at the long term or whole picture – it doesn’t ever look like that.

• Sexual interactions become about playing out a scene and not about enjoying your partner. People often think Fifty Shades will teach you how to please your partner, but really it just teaches the dominant one to please only his or herself.

• The media firestorm surrounding this franchise is impossible to miss. Kids are exposed to the messages in the story simply by existing! Walking down the street, visiting a mall or even watching family-friendly television (ABC Family played the trailer of Fifty Shades of Grey during children’s shows) exposes children to advertisements for this book and film. Watching daily news shows and talk shows (which most parents have on while kids are in the room) exposes kids to the messages that this violent sexual behavior is normal and worth a try.

• Kids are hearing about Fifty Shades and more and more are hearing the terms BDSM. Curiosity and the innate desire to be like adults will send many kids looking for answers. Considering that mainstream pornography mostly follows these themes, you can be sure that is what they will be exposed to.

• The truth is that kids are more tech savvy and are consuming more media than adults. Of course, parents need to monitor this, but the reality is that most parents aren’t and most parents cannot keep up no matter how hard they try.